


it'sheynoon

by Kirisame_Drive



Series: tittybamf tales [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Funny, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 09:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7261612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirisame_Drive/pseuds/Kirisame_Drive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cowboby bebop and katniss (japan version) get drunk and almost fuck everything up</p>
            </blockquote>





	it'sheynoon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [napstabloop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/napstabloop/gifts).



> okay there is literally not enough time for me to write a prequel so here is this pic it should be enough to get your bearings 
> 
> this is where i would put the link but i dinked up and forgot it. htey've just been drinking okay
> 
> if you have any more questions email me at getdunked@bonemail.com and ill tell you more.

“This is a terrible idea.”

“Keep quiet, okay? You agreed to this.”

The warrior sighed as he watched his companion struggle to fit into a tiny back window. He had been struggling for several minutes now, and while it was amusing to watch, it was finally getting on his nerves. Breaking and entering really wasn’t his idea of a date, but here they were.

“Can you hurry up? If we’re doing this, I want to do it quickly”

“Shh! We don’t want to wake anyone up. Just enjoy they view for a little longer darlin’, I’m almost inside.”

His face flushed red, his eyes flying away from his partner’s behind.

“I wasn’t looking!” He retorted, nervousness leaking into his voice. 

A hearty laugh broke through the night, but was silenced quickly by an “humph” as McCree fell through the window. He stumbled back up on his feet, the liquor he and Hanzo had been enjoying still burning hot inside him. He dusted himself off with his hat before calling back.

“Alright, it’s your turn!”

In one smooth leap, Hanzo jumped through the window into the dark room, rolling into a crouched position. He stood up and looked back at McCree, a playful smirk on his face. McCree shook his head and muttered something under his breath.  
They continued onward into the lab, the darkness pierced only by several computer displays and miscellaneous lights. Hanzo stood close to McCree, cautious since he was still fairly new to this place. His partner, on the other hand, paced around clumsily, tripping over tables, chairs, anything on his way really.

“Are you really so inebriated that you cannot walk straight?” Hanzo whispered. “I had hoped you would hold your alcohol a little better than this.

“Whoa there, I am not drunk, okay? I am just reminiscing of my past” McCree, not nearly quiet enough. “This place holds a lot of memories”

“A lot of broken memories by the time you’re done reminiscing, I’m sure” Hanzo responded wittily, smirking once more. “How much longer until we get there?”

McCree turned on his heels to face Hanzo, his index finger pushing down on his lips.

“You really oughta learn how to slow down and enjoy the ride, darlin’”McCree sighed. “The walk will take as long as it’s meant to take.”

He stepped forward, closing the distance between the two further, the tips of their noses nearly touching. Hanzo stepped back, but McCree followed through matching him step by step. His back hit a wall. Great. He had cornered himself all thanks to how disorienting the dark room was. McCree’s finger again touched his lips, but this time it travelled down his neck, drawing circles on his chest. McCree stepped in, his leg between Hanzo’s, whispering into his ear. 

“I mean, what’s a couple stops here and there before our destination?”

The scent of alcohol was intoxicating, but his words even more so. Hanzo bit his lip, his partner’s advances mixed with the drinks from earlier all clouding his judgement. He pushed back.

“I just wish to see the mission through” 

“You’re no fun.” McCree sighed, yet smiling. “This isn’t work. It ain’t a mission. Have you never played a prank before?”

Ah yes. The prank. A drunken idea that seemed great a couple hours back but grew drearier with every minute since. But he agreed to it, and McCree seemed happy enough about it. They continued walking, fewer words exchanged, until they reached the awaited place. McCree smiled and reached into his holster, pulling out a pair of scissors. 

“Are you certain you wish to go on with this prank?” Hanzo cautioned one final time. “It could end our friendship with him, and cause immense tension within the team which will endanger future missions.”

“Eh.” McCree spoke up after reflecting on it for a couple seconds. “It’s high noon somewhere in the world.”

. . .

“What do you mean we’re trapped?” 

“I don’t know! I guess the wind blew the window closed or something. If we fidget with anything, an alarm might go off.”

“I told you this was a terrible idea,” Hanzo sighed. “What do we do now?”

“We just lay low until the morning comes, then we sneak out as soon as the big guy wakes up.” McCree explained. “That’s what you’re all about right? Sneaking into places?”

“I wouldn’t undersell my training into simply “sneaking around”.” Hanzo grumbled. “But yes, stealth was an integral part of becoming who I am.”

McCree laughed, sitting down on the floor. He pulled out a flask and took a big swig from it, passing it over to Hanzo. He joined him, sitting down as well. He drank from the flask, putting it down as the drink burnt down his throat.

“Well ya did a fine job sneaking into my heart” McCree added, wrapping his arm around Hanzo’s shoulder. Hanzo’s face was now the one burning up, reaching for the flask once again.

. . .

“Oooh look at me! I am at terrifying cowman. Fear my fast handgun and rolling capabilities.” Hanzo slurred, McCree’s hat sitting on his head.

“Hey now, no need for the disrespect!” McCree laughed. “We’re a dying breed, us cowboys. Our need to duel only dwindles our numbers further”

“Ah yes, your duels.” Hanzo continued in a mocking tone. “I am Dirty Dan, the most fearsome cowboy in all the land.”

“Dirty Dan was a coward and a scoundrel and I am glad I put him in his place.” McCree said in a serious tone, swiping the hat off of Hanzo. “But if he’s the most fearsome cowboy, then I’m Dirty Dan.”

“Please, your gunplay is okay at best” Hanzo commented, taking the hat back. “A true marksman such as myself should be Dirty Dan.”

“Well maybe back in the homeland you were, but here, I’m Dirty Dan”

“No, I’m Dirty Dan!”

“No, I’M DIRTY DAN!”

“I’M DIRTY DAN”

“WHICH OF YOU TWO IS DIRTY DAN?” A voiced roared from the darkness of the lab. Two looming red eyes pierced into Hanzo and McCree, sobering Hanzo immediately

“I’m the one and only true cowboy here, so I’m Dirty Dan!” McCree concluded, taking the hat back and putting it back on his head. “Darlin’ your voice got quite hoarse, are you sure you’re okay?”

Hanzo said nothing, looking dead on at the beast that approached them slowly.

“Oh come on, get it? Hoarse? Like, horse? Because we’re cowboys?” McCree continued, taking a drink from the flask. “Man, I use up my best material on you and you just don’t appreciate it.”

Two hands reached out and gripped them both tightly, pulling them into the darkness. They were thrown against a wall, activating the lights within the laboratory. Winston towered over them, fur in disarray. A poorly cut out banana pattern covered his body, yet was shadowed by the rage in his eyes. He rushed McCree, picking him up once again.

“YOU DID THIS, DIDN’T YOU?!”

“Only because I thought it’d be funny, what’s a joke between friends?”

Winston roared once more, throwing McCree once again, landing beside Hanzo this time.

“Okay, okay, I admit it. It was pretty tasteless” McCree continued. “But it was a pretty good date, right?” 

He winked at Hanzo, who was blushing again, before being trashed by Winston.

“Not a bad date at all.”


End file.
